Cacao Reserve Dark
by Hershey’s
Impact
Hershey’s noir - scary as paying for a horror fest & getting a chick flick instead.
Feigning micro-batch status & craft-production to capture part of the burgeoning market for premium chocolate, all the while fortifying a defensive counter to elite consumption habits (RE: snobbery). All part of the cat ‘n mouse game that becomes marketing & branding in 21st century econ.
Feigning micro-batch status & craft-production to capture part of the burgeoning market for premium chocolate, all the while fortifying a defensive counter to elite consumption habits (RE: snobbery). All part of the cat ‘n mouse game that becomes marketing & branding in 21st century econ.
Appearance 2.4 / 5
| Color: | dark brown spray paint |
| Surface: | |
| Temper: | auto wax finish |
| Snap: | weak; play-doh on the break |
Aroma 5.1 / 10
Global Inc. frenzy: starts Dow Chemical & Exxon - rubber / plastic / petroleum –> vanilla –> Campbell’s mushroom soup –> teak / camphor / tobacco –> Play-Doh clay; all strong & persistent
Mouthfeel 8.2 / 15
| Texture: | greasy easy up |
| Melt: | instant contraction |
Flavor 28.7 / 50
quick cinnamon / vanilla –> rides stripped down cocoa all the way out; low bitter / acid complex; length – long alkabullmerd (French for ‘salted w/ bullroe’)
Quality 11.3 / 20
Simple as expected. The emphasis: all parameters & metrics “dark” (color, smell, taste, etc.) with enough sugar, spice, dairy, & dutching to make it focus-group tested & marketable. This shiz is old ghetto, which here don’t mean ‘keepin it real & rawkus’, just low rent.