Color:	orange creamsicle-brown
Surface:	scruffed & smudged face to morph the skippy Vosges girl mold into a gothic horror but she whips out the private vibrator in her shopping bag for the flawless backside
Temper:	flat anti-sheen absorbs light
Snap:	lyrical w/ pluck; admirable edge-wall integrity too

hi-ceremony tea & cheese served on stiff cardboard platter (the Vosges grrrls going eco-chic) -> eventually shows dessicated coconut, palm fronds & clay -> vanilla-oak & black walnut round it nicely; studied & reserved until a fuming roast after it sits & opens for awhile

Texture:	cellulite & silicon
Melt:	lumpy

smoked Gouda & orange pekoe -> takes a waxing & goes blank... idling for weeks while getting waxed (oh, what Vosges tasting notes describe as "honey")... -> recessed caramel au lait -> "subtle hazelnuts" (Vosges-talk for 'vague soot') -> shuts down on malted cocoa, then... did anyone already mention wax?... burnt wax melts to ash -> final belch ‘dumb rum’ (yack heaved-up from a bad night before)

Though the corporate office as well as trade-show reps deny it, this has Felchlin’s fingerprints all over it. First the telltale sunflower lecithin seen before in Original Beans’ private label bar from Felchlin; foremost the taste; & finally, an insider at Felchlin confirms it.

Terrifically bland; low-to-no caramel roll on this baby chocolate. The Gouda peek at the beginning seems apt seeing how the flavors feel partially ‘Dutched’. All those unique compounds found in Felchlin’s Elvesia eviscerated to resemble its Creole puff, with enough fat to almost rival Choklat’s big butter bars. (The nutrition panel lists only one-third fat content – how’s that?; about as accurate as weights posted on internet dating sites).

A meek pussywillow for pussy kittycats: the only Dark-Milk aspect to this 45% is the torching in the roast.

ING: cocoa mass, sugar, cacáo butter, whole milk powder, sunflower lecithin, vanilla

Reviewed Summer 2009