(Excerpt from Willie’s El Blanco White Chocolate bar review)

Other than God & sex, chocolate is the most powerful force on Earth. Its connections to the other 2 are indisputable:

  1. Theobroma cacao named by Linneaus is Greek for God-food;
  2. Cacáo earns its reputation as notoriously promiscuous by rampant cross-breeding.

But what about gay? To paraphrase Curt Cobain: it could be. Certain homogenous cacáo populations are self-compatible (capable of fertilizing by its own pollen / reproducing without cross-breeding).

Then again, we all could be.

Mayan iconography & cosmology associated cacáo with the feminine, but today both men & women enjoy chocolate along a diverse continuum (Milk, DarkSemi-Sweet, et. al.)  So it might be better characterized as bi- or poly-.

In a deeply personal & intensely emotional open letter to subscribers, a contributing editor of the C-spot confides that he had been harboring a secret life. After years of therapy & counseling, he comes out about how chocolate, a specific type of chocolate, helped him come to terms with his orientation & at the same time reciprocates profoundly about chocolate’s own proclivities. In a nib, it’s about being inclusive.

Read his touching & heartfelt account. 

Dear Subscribers,

It is with a heavy & sobbing heart that I write to you. I have prayed for the strength to overcome this, but it is beyond me.

For years I struggled with what I call “my problem”. No matter how much therapy & counseling, I am unable to shake it, or change who I am & what I feel at my core — right to the bone marrow. I have harbored these emotions for… well, for… you know. Even now it remains so hard to express.

I keep thinking about my self-image versus my public image versus my imagination’s hidden desires. But this must end: I have to dispel the false narrative. I even googled ‘what’s the best way to say it’. I’m supposed to be a blogger. I should know, right?

I so hate myself for that cowardice but I can’t go on like this any more. Just because others have done so, others whom I idolize like celebrities & powerful people, doesn’t make it any easier.

I realize this will cause some of my readers, especially those on the Dark side, to cancel subscriptions, feeling that I let them down. I hope you won’t reject me but will understand if you do. Sadly our society still has haters who are intolerant of diversity.

But here I am, raising my hand, standing up to be counted.

I’m coming out of the closet.

Let’s just plunge right in: deep down I’m unabashedly heterosexual & in luv with the most feminine of chocolates — White Chocolate. So too my inner-female; she luvs it too. Call me ‘lesbian’ if you must. (I’ve been called worse during years of scorn with slurs like the ‘W’ words — ‘wigger’ & ‘waggot’).

There. Now you know.

Whether or not you can, I’ve come to terms with it all. I now recognize my orientation is not my fault. There is no one to blame. No, I can’t help myself; or ‘unsex me here’, to quote Lady Macbeth. It is simply my DNA. Knowing this enables me to overcome decades of shame, now washed away in tears of pride & joy.

I know… I know… some will say that White Chocolate, lacking any cocoa mass, isn’t even chocolate at all. But it’s largely made from the butter coming from the same cacáo seed that makes the darkest chocolate! Indeed, it’s made in the same image of the “food of the gods” (Theobroma cacao), just pale-faced. For in the beginning, some believe, God made chocolate & it was good. Then Coenraad Johannes van Houten in 1828 separated the Dark from the White & it was better. To trash White only discriminates against it & against inclusiveness. I’m sorry… but tears come squirting out of my eyeballs as I say this, streaming over this monitor so much that I can barely see… ‘scuse me if you will but I…. I….

Whew, OMG, what a sense of relief. Liberation at last. Like the time I ripped the panties off of an incredibly hot attraction.

Please. I want to go on but I’m breaking down bad, totally wrecked & exhausted. Sorry.

I just hope you’ll support my new, revealed luv. I hope you’ll still include me in the Society of Chocolate.

Muhaz,
El Editor

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