Eurocrem Blok

by Takovo
Info Details
Country Serbia   
Type Flavored   (Hazelnuts in Milk Chocolate)
Strain Hybrid   
Source Ivory Coast   
Flavor Sugar   
Style Industrial      
Chocodolia refers to the chocolate-specific version of pareidolia – the latter a psychological perception of finding meaning in the mundane -- whether it be a face on Mars, the Virgin Mary's image on a grilled-cheese sandwich, animals in clouds, & hidden messages on records played in reverse.

The ‘fine chocolate’ tribe perceives great significance in their fav-flav to the point that it takes on mystical-religious experience. That some have been doing so for millennia, starting with pre-Columbian Mesoamerican cultures, suggest there just might be something to it.

Consider, as many do, chocolate as alchemy, which constitutes but one leg in the triad of magick. According to that paradigm, the 9 apparent gates of the human body are eyes, ears, nostrils, genitals, rectum, & the grand gate of them all – the mouth* which leads to the innermost digestive system. These 9 comprise the senses (or from another view… sight; hearing; smell; touch; proprioception**; gravitational orientation; spatial object detection; awareness of others’ attention [‘shibumi’]; & taste) with the Prime Gate (re: mouth) functioning as central experiential processor or data center to shape info into meaning.

Yes, chocolate on the lips coursing thru the GI tract then out the caca gate means magick because the illusory magick behind magick culminates, after the abyss transcending duality that slays the ego, in the void of nothingness***.

Thus spoke the mysterious revealed.

Now that’s something.

* Nema explains: the source of the god/dess’s being, & ours, is the same mouth… our own mouth, mouth of womb & tomb, of river & cave. The Word creates the mouth by which it is spoken, dilating a doorway in the void, then stepping thru it.
** Unlike the classical 5 senses—sight, taste, smell, touch, & hearing — by which people perceive the outside world, proprioception is a distinct sensory modality that provides feedback to the body for the movement of its parts. The sense of body awareness supposedly utilizes information from sensory receptors found chiefly in muscles, tendons, joints, & the inner ear. WARNING: this bar disables proprioception.
*** Meaning, information, & significance are inherent in the structure of the cosmos on all its levels. There is only one thing – call it Endura -- & it’s very busy. As space & time expand, it gets busier still, spinning itself into more & greater complexities. These complexes outpace the expansions 2:1 in exponential quantum increments. So, true, even nothing means something.
Appearance   5 / 5
Color: perfect tan
Surface: slate perfect
Temper: glamazon matte cosmetician
Snap: whispering shudder
Aroma   8.3 / 10
major wafers.... KitKat® without the chocolate coat
Mouthfeel   7.1 / 15
Texture: flat latex
Melt: clumpen
Flavor   27.6 / 50
candy malt -> sweet whey -> albumin -> candy corn -> peeping filbert -> toasted grain -> glucose
Quality   5.2 / 20
A bar version of Eurocrem the spread (re: the Nutella of the Balkans).

Stuff the Balkans grew up on.

Does it qualify as chocolate? Well, 6% of it (the listed cocoa-content). so, yeah, kinda.

Low quality kinder-candy. The kind of material that assassinates chocolate with sugar + truck loads of fillers, to give Nutella a 'fine' name!

The equivalent of a 'chocolate table bar' -- looks pin-up fab, smells wondrous, tastes empty as a cenotaph.

INGREDIENTS: sugar, hydrogenated palm fat, skim milk powder, cocoa powder, hazelnuts, whey powder, sunflower oil, soy lecithin, and flavors.

Reviewed September 20, 2016


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