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Coffee

by Neuhaus
Info Details
Country Belgium   
Type Flavored   (Coffee; White Chocolate 23.5%)
Strain
Source
Flavor Earthen   
Style Industrial      
lo
med
hi
CQ
Sweetness
Acidity
Bitterness
Roast
Intensity
Complexity
Structure
Length
Impact
Affirmative action in Candyland. Timid cacáo butter & kick-face coffee unhappily bussed together, day & night like black & white driven by an artificial coloring agent. Thankfully miscegenation is a fossil of the past & diversity has become the norm. But this bar's a throw-back in a wrong-way direction.

Will do for taste buds what 3 Mile Island & Love Canal did for those areas - wipe them out.
Appearance   2.6 / 5
protected in a passport holder - good package
Color: whey-faced salt 'n pepper; coffee flecks (probably vanilla too) speckle like flies in the ointment
Surface: tweedy corduroy
Temper: flat wax
Snap: rotting break; crumbling edge
Aroma   4.1 / 10
aromatically-challenged old lady on the bus: wet wool -> sheet rock -> dank basement mold -> butterscotch café -> artificial dried maple -> egg whites
Mouthfeel   7.2 / 15
Texture: powder, mix w/ saliva for sludge paste
Melt: sticky ball-dragging insomniac
Flavor   18.6 / 50
coffee struggling in a vat of caulk putty -> maple sap -> hi-intensity chemical sweeteners for quick teeth dissolve -> vanillin metals screech in -> milk acids start to break down the iron but you don't want to live anymore... in this bar -> gack... choke point -> spittoon
Quality   4.8 / 20
Subprime. Pump & dump done on the cheap. A popular Belgian praline combo - White Choc + coffee - here in a rare bar form. Bukowski's 'dead-before-death gang'... gives up the ghost well before mid-palate & nukes the fridge from there. The undisclosed "flavouring agent" listed among ingredients constitutionally violates & rapes this piece (probably saccharin with maltodextrins & fake maple + vanilla added to the assault). Ceaseless debasement

ING: sugar, powdered whole milk, cocoa butter, coffee, soya lecithin, flavouring agent

  

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