Box Chocolate Review

See's

Info Details
Country USA   (Carson, CA)
Style Industrial      
lo
med
hi
CQ
Sweetness
Intensity
Complexity
Impact
See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil... just taste it
Presentation   3.1 / 5
If Godiva’s gold, See’s is silver & both are Hallmark Greeting Cards in candyland; oversized lower middle-class slabs to fit in the GM-SUV w/ a 100,000 year warranty backed by airtight shrink-wrap
Aromas   2.3 / 5
vanilla caramels & nuts just streaming hot off the box
Textures/Melt   7.2 / 10
Shells: respectable medium-thin gauge
Centers: air-injected & impressive in light of everything else
Flavor   11.8 / 50
Remember how it used to be in the days leading to acne & cavities? Seized on the Midway of a thousand-&-one variations on corn syrup & sugar? This was the fuel that got you there - beyond ‘flavor-forward’ to ‘mission glop’ where chocolate itself poses as an innocent bystander, then a victim, & finally a casualty – well before prissy haute chocolatures showed up (viz., Vosges). Purely unpretentious sludge.
Quality   9.9 / 30
See’s Candies calls it like it is: candy. Industrial manufacture laminated in old-fashioned kettle works veneer... just makin’ the masses happy. A 'merican staple.
Selections
Couverture: Guittard
Unidentified Object - Dark-on-Milk whipped ganache; malt attack followed by corn syrup assault; cocoa-powder burn marks at the back (Dutch alkalis)
Toffee - a brick munnitions factory; corn syrup anneals to epoxy-strength then explodes into ammonium nitrate - the main ingredient of both bombs & chemical fertilizer; overkill
Dark Caramel - glucose & fructose dissolve any teeth left over from the caramel tug pulling them out
Sprinkle Top - pours on the fake pancake syrup plus some dog-done-it on the bark at the base of the maple tree; hyper-sweetened to make even dentures grate & ache
Almond nougat in Milk Choc w/ artificial maple beneath; stale but passable
Coconut - shredded coconut spackled into a Milk Choc shell against some grout for back up
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