Box Chocolate Review


Info Details
Country USA   
Style Mainstream      
No sex here... just a lap dance
Presentation   2.9 / 5
faux-Tiffany blue + botched logo print job; add old-school wax paper (remember that?... you geezer-readers out there?) puts it on the cusp of homemade/amateur creeps; nicely finished look, however, to the pieces themselves - clean & professional - even if industrial-sized ala Godiva (double bite-sized - at least).
Aromas   2.6 / 5
odd chemical waft from the open box… kitchen floor wax - cherry scented ('it’s a floor wax, it’s a topping, it’s both!!!...thank you SNL) &, least we forget, Playdoh™
Textures/Melt   7.3 / 10
Shells: great snap on the coverture w/ good juxtaposition on the ganache; random shell thickness - heavy on top w/ .5mm on the sides & standard 1mm pool thickness on bottom
Centers: clean & soft if a bit too fast & bordering on commercial candy; pretty much a 1 to 1 ratio
Flavor   29.4 / 50
imbalanced; a lot of effort thwarted by mid-range quality chocolate as the base of the product... so sweet it makes teeth hurt (sugar should bring out the best in a chocolate, here it hides inferior product & trumps the good intentions of the maker whose work would be ab-fab if it used a top-shelf brand)
Quality   18.9 / 30
Whitman Sampler for the 2000’s…beautiful to look at but held back by quality of ingredients. On the right track yet the road is long & winding, having been walked on by millions of shoes hundreds of years ago.
Couverture: Scharffen-Berger
Cà phê süa - floor wax the dominant aroma w/ sugar + dusty cherry back; brut coffee-forward (Turkish espresso) w/ condensed milk overpowered by sugar which just levels the tannins & basso profundo notes one expects from the dark side of chocolate; on the plus side - coffee grounds on top furnish both a visual & a textural interplay resident to many Asian cuisines (a point lost on most American / French chocolatiers)
Macha - redolent of Playdoh™ (no fooling... looks like it too); just sugar mixed in clay - sweet, palate-decimating - & a rapid waterwheel of a melt devoid of any sensuous notes for those w/ a passion for White Chocolate (you’ve just outted yourself), namely, that sexy, velvet on the tongue... soft cocoa butter caressing the lips... not this, folks… so fast & flat… no sex here, just a lap dance….

Pin It on Pinterest