Box Chocolate Review


Info Details
Country USA   (Ft. Wayne, IN)
Style Mainstream      
Style (such as it is) trumps substance
Presentation   3.6 / 5
impressive in the same way a luxury Buick pulls up to the valet at a country club or banquet hall, & out pops the driver in kelly-green trousers & a canary-yellow sport-coat
Aromas   3 / 5
meager on one side, decoyed on the other
Textures/Melt   6.9 / 10
Shells: medium gauge
Centers: hugely sweet ganache
Flavor   34.2 / 50
low Chocolate Quotient & generally recessed
Quality   17.7 / 30
Overly ambitious & pretentious
Couverture: generic
CONNOISSEUR COLLECTION - Over-laden interior designer presentation. While the layout appears exquisite, expressions tend toward centrifugal, out of focus... layered rather than harmonized. Exceptions: Passion and Aztec

TRUFFLES- Overflowing Krakatoas w/ dormant tectonics underneath, frozen by a curious lack of assertiveness & low-to-no finish because some never had a beginning. Unveiling or diluted, these became lost frames as structure gives way to sinking taste pools.
White Pecan – cream bland; no grace or even vanilla shimmer
Macadamia Nut – ditto in Milk; passive, no aggression
Deluxe Nut – this side of desire, nuts gang-banging the taste buds
Raspberry – fruit preserves on high; chocolate serves as an excuse, a mere BGP (background prop) set to massive jam-berry drop
Mocha – coffee & no cocoa
Dark – cake frosting

Classic Collection - Middle weight of the line. Mouthfeel often waxy, then greasy.
European Heart – hazelnut romance in Milk; tall & instantaneously recognized
Rose Carmelita – soft & oozy from the heartland
Mocha Cream – initial explosion turns almost violent before tempered by a side-winding maple overlap
Caramel Dark - caramel charmin: soft pull, soft chew, soft flavor, soft effect

Bars- Noxious; phase transition from gas to vapor
White – caulking putty; exaggerated mass-market perception of what White Choc is mistakenly supposed to taste like: plastic
Milk – solid mid-American candy
Milk w/ Hazelnut – kids treat for seniors
Dark – brick-house snap to break teeth

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