Box Chocolate Review


Info Details
Country USA   (NYC)
Style Rustic      
Oh, no... another raw-chocolate crash site. You might want to avert your attention.

Gnosis, presumably, noëtics from beyond the noumenal limits grokked via Erik Davis' TechGnosis; versus agnostic, full of doubts, often leading to confusion & questions over central tenets of faith. This venture, sporting freakishly aggressive marketing / distribution (nothing wrong with that per se; congrats for finding the lab rats to subject to these chocolate experiments), reverses these definitions in much the way classical liberalism has switched meanings over the centuries. Tastes of sawdust trampled on by a herd of buffalo. Based on the medical theory of what’s bitter is good for you, this must be miraculously healthy.

To date, few raw chocolates can hold a candle to traditional fine chocolate. It’s the equivalent of comparing the Special Olympics to the real games. So if the raw tribe insists, then take a cue from the raw exceptions that show in a good light (Pacari or Divine Organics), work on the cacáo varietal selection/genetics & discover conching, or skip the feeble vanity to craft chocolate & just roll this scrap heap out into a slab & call it what it is – a clunky food bar injected with a bunch of trend items like agave, maca, & goji berries.

Presentation   3.2 / 5
heart-shaped confections channeling “the love”
Aromas   4.1 / 5
best part of the experience: dried fruit medley
Textures/Melt   1.6 / 10
Shells: raw dust & spume
Centers: similar to fudge though different – cocoa powder & flake throughout, studded w/ a variety of fruits, nuts, elixirs, crystals, & potions
Flavor   17.3 / 50
mangled into a confused jumble
Quality   4.8 / 30
Neo-hippie, pre-historic jamboree
Couverture: anonymous (who’d take credit?)
Blue Pomegranate – pom extract & blackberry juice barge across a textural mess of nuts & dried blueberries while chocolate - what little there is - disintegrates all around; finishes on chalkolate; confused & awkward
Orange Blossom – blaring orange jerked around in a rancid nut blender disaster (almonds / cashews) backed up by blue green algae flakes which stomp all over raw cacáo; virtually no integration or fusion, except at the very end, when orange & almond air-kiss off one another
Cashew Goji Cherry – simplicity kills, despite the inventory list of ingredients; on top of the 3 named in the title, add cacao beans & butter, black currants, golden raisins, vanilla bean, crystal manna, agave nectar; most of which succeed in mercifully cancelling each other out; providing a rare glimpse of what the raw cacáo base employed in this line is all about: flat droning talc
Lemon Berry Rose – sounds inviting... just wait til you get there; another textural sewage dump but this time, if taste buds manage to hack & wade their way thru, the flavors combine to complement, even enhance, one another; barely a shred of chocolate influences the progression, other than BGP (back ground prop); lemon & elderberry (among a concoction of about a dozen ingredients) cut thru for most of the length; respectable

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