Box Chocolate Review

Pure Imagination

Info Details
Country USA   (Columbus, OH)
Style Mainstream      
lo
med
hi
CQ
Sweetness
Intensity
Complexity
Impact
Charlie Brown's blanket sewn into a pin cushion of pain
Presentation   3.4 / 5
Int’l set of near perfectly round Swiss truffles & enrobed pieces w/ molded caps
Aromas   2.9 / 5
caulk & chalk + candied Playdoh™ / clay
Textures/Melt   5.2 / 10
Shells: thick (almost 1mm all around & even thicker on the bottom)
Centers: fluid
Flavor   26.7 / 50
Dutched baseline cocoa + ham-fisted flavorings add up to a figment of unwilling chocolate & a pure dare that leaves it to you to imagine what the real tangible thing tastes like
Quality   12.4 / 30
Apparently in Columbus, OH (where these are made), LA + NY (where celebrities supposedly consume them), & Whole Foods everywhere (where they’re sold) you can be a name-dropping starfucker pedaling subprime bull-politic.
Selections
Couverture: generic
Mousse au Dark - thick, soft-shell collapses on fluid fudge center nearing a Dutched/peanut component
Mousse au Milk - same as the Dark except a Milk Choc shell that further nuetralizes the ganache, shifting peanut tones toward corn syrup
Relic - grinding salted nibs & dense pack cocoa live up to its name: bone dry taste
Raspberry Mocha - beans & berries in the dead zone
Raspberry Cheesecake - Smuckers Cheescake Factory™; franchise it
Wild Blueberry Gouda - blueberry Smuckers curbed in supermarket cheese acting as cream w/o any of Gouda’s inherent farmstead layers of burnt sugar butterscotching; amateur
Aztec Caramel - oozy hazmat spurts out artificial sweeteners against chocolate chip cookie backset
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