Info Details
Country USA   
Type Dark   (65%)
Strain Amelonado   (Amazon)
Source Ghana   
Flavor Naked   
Style Industrial      
Payback time. Chocolate, considered a gift from the gods, apparently has a problem with the god of war, Mars, who’s angry & wishes to punish mere mortals by unleashing this WMD (Weapon of Mass Deception). Released in the form of a dream of some exotic (by Mars' standards) foreign road-trip on a bus (the corporate suite's version of a magical mystery tour). One that requires safari-meds (ooooh, 'primitive') for a humid tropical zone infested all about with more ticks, fleas, mosquitoes & man-eating plants than human beings.

The hoax mercifully cut short by man’s best friend -- dogs barking in the other room (it's just a nightmare after all), in a howl at Bismarck’s definition of a pre-emptive strike: "committing suicide out of fear of death."
Appearance   3.8 / 5
Color: light brown
Surface: brushed plate
Temper: dimly polished
Snap: quite a caterwaul for a 65% despite crumbling edge
Aroma   5.2 / 10
heads south on the fruits: a box of raisins without any of the dried fruit inside... as if the Sun-Maid™ girl ran off w/ ‘em
Mouthfeel   10.1 / 15
Texture: caustic
Melt: a creepy bar crawler
Flavor   21.4 / 50
caught on baseline cocoa (of powder profile almost nearing a Dark-Milk) -> brief apparition of the raisin girl... bitten by fleas -> palm oil in dirt -> grinds to a halt on tannic-vanilla w/ a bitter dog bite... strong yet short enough for raisin-girl to hang around & swallow it down in a foggy grape depression
Quality   6.6 / 20
Basic mudslinger / guano from Ghana. A demonstration chocolate for Mars' reps to pass out at conferences & food shows to convince, judging by these results, the unsuspecting of what dismal experiments its engineers concoct back in their lab cubicles.

One esteemed Mars research fellow claims rather incredulously that the candy giant is so selective that it has a 40% rejection rate of the beans it receives upon delivery. Maybe the company should consider increasing that to 70%... or higher.

Your little sister’s bagged dime-store product – just add milk.

ING: none listed (but one can only wonder); CBS (Cocoa Mass/Butter/Sugar ratio): ~ 5:8:7

Reviewed Autumn 2010


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