Caramel Malt
by Charm School
Impact
To be nobody but yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night & day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, & never stop fighting. - e.e. cummings
Some succumb…. unlike Josh Rosen.
After eating thousands of chocolate bars and boxes (some debased beyond defaced) & reading (as well as writing) millions of words on it, including a fair amount of distortions & falsehoods, who'd think the unthinkable that something truly distinguished & distinct could still be unearthed.
Upon reflection, Josh Rosen of Charm School Chocolate seemingly inhabits an alternative world. To paraphrase, in the best way, Aaron Eckhart In the Company of Men, he's a whole new breed.
Some succumb…. unlike Josh Rosen.
After eating thousands of chocolate bars and boxes (some debased beyond defaced) & reading (as well as writing) millions of words on it, including a fair amount of distortions & falsehoods, who'd think the unthinkable that something truly distinguished & distinct could still be unearthed.
Upon reflection, Josh Rosen of Charm School Chocolate seemingly inhabits an alternative world. To paraphrase, in the best way, Aaron Eckhart In the Company of Men, he's a whole new breed.
Appearance 5 / 5
| Color: | stunning mocha blonde in amber waves |
| Surface: | eye-opening / eye-watering... this looker kills all eyes preying upon it |
| Temper: | absorbent |
| Snap: | heartbreaker by pulling tenderly at the strings first |
Aroma 9.4 / 10
the stuff of unicorns, fairies, & elves... a diet of unlimited doughnuts, cream puffs, candy corn, bottomless malted shakes & such, without ever suffering any ill consequences whatsoever
Mouthfeel 14.2 / 15
| Texture: | surreal 5-star porn hotel.... |
| Melt: | .... silk sheets |
Flavor 43.7 / 50
namesake entrance -- malted crystal caramel -- then those Aromatics (above) flood in simultaneously, add butterscotch + careening pecans -> drops into a multi-grain silo -> soy powder hydrates in the oral chamber for malted grape nuts cereal -> a flake or 2 of brewer's yeast
Quality 16.1 / 20
Not your mommy's pablum White. Breaks the mold -- literally / figuratively / seriously.
No chocolate to write of (is there even any in there; ahhhh, well, not really*** but 34% supposedly; who cares).
Heartfelt experimentation.
Frays & falls apart at the very end, self-deconstructs & deteriorates but the longish melt until that disintegration fills up with terrific hedonic / hedonism -- so good the anticipated finale builds up to a.... letdown. Even that however just reinforces the preceding goodness.
A- for execution; A for creativity; A+ for charm.
INGREDIENTS: sugar, *** cocoa butter, coconut, malted barley, malted millet, sea salt, sunflower lecithin, vanilla
Reviewed September 13, 2016
No chocolate to write of (is there even any in there; ahhhh, well, not really*** but 34% supposedly; who cares).
Heartfelt experimentation.
Frays & falls apart at the very end, self-deconstructs & deteriorates but the longish melt until that disintegration fills up with terrific hedonic / hedonism -- so good the anticipated finale builds up to a.... letdown. Even that however just reinforces the preceding goodness.
A- for execution; A for creativity; A+ for charm.
INGREDIENTS: sugar, *** cocoa butter, coconut, malted barley, malted millet, sea salt, sunflower lecithin, vanilla
Reviewed September 13, 2016