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Info Details
Country France   
Type Milk Chocolate   (40%)
Strain Hybrid   (some Nacional)
Source Ecuador   
Flavor Sugar   
Style Industrial      
lo
med
hi
CQ
Sweetness
Acidity
Bitterness
Roast
Intensity
Complexity
Structure
Length
Impact
Hippo Bar – chocolate for a lazy horny hippopotamus. Instead of instant caramel, prepare to get rolled by roundhouse fat adulterated with all sorts of additive boosters (malt, brown sugar, vanilla extract as well as ‘vanilla flavoring’), just pimped & prostituted wholesale into blub whore well past prime.
Appearance   5 / 5
Color: browned strawberry-blonde
Surface: blemish-free
Temper: thin-skinned shine
Snap: bullet w/ a silencer; leaving no trace markings on the edge
Aroma   6.5 / 10
focused & concentrated cream caramel / malted egg cream
Mouthfeel   8.3 / 15
Texture: globules
Melt: fried albumin
Flavor   24.8 / 50
pure butter – essential bland fat -> long single malt chalk interrupted by savory element (salted herb, viz., thyme) -> glimpses a lonely strawberry -> back into the vat of fat
Quality   4 / 20
Broken, imbalanced, & devoid of shape/definition. Weighs in beyond obesity in every category except flavor. A snippy attitude permeates this flaccid product, as if Valrhona mutters under its breath ¨Huh, if they insist on this milk chocolate stuff, we´ll feed the little peccaries this stick of fat wrapped it in an obscure foreign name so they mistake it for class, the f*#king clochards!¨ Hardly rates analysis. 4 points out of 20 here on the sole basis it bothered to show up for the job.

  

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