Peanut Butter
by Jacques Torres
Impact
Double-click on the bar image & look closely: the front label reads "Get a banana & call Elvis" whose voice mail picks up with him singing the track Return to Sender. As the saying goes ‘shit runs down the hill’. If standing at the bottom, make sure to have boots on.
Appearance 2.8 / 5
| Color: | caramel |
| Surface: | unset wax |
| Temper: | whey-faced peanut-butter head |
| Snap: | ugly; candidate for Keith Olbermann’s ‘worst in the world’ right next to... Keith Olbermann |
Aroma 4.6 / 10
dull Reese’s™: heavily salted & corn syruped PB w/ just a nano-speck of cocoa - the wrong half of ‘you-got-some-chocolate-in-my peanut-butter’ syndrome
Mouthfeel 6.4 / 15
| Texture: | sludge-the-mucus |
| Melt: | fast post-nasal drip |
Flavor 21.7 / 50
unloads a sugar dump -> peanut / nut mix (esp hazelnut) in weak cocoa spread
Quality 7.1 / 20
Hyper sweet just spikes the glucose levels. JT’s cheap take on Nutella™ (swapping out hazelnuts for less expensive peanuts) – at twice the price. Pure hooey. Squalid.
ING: sugar, whole milk pwdr, cacáo butter, cocoa mass, soya lecithin, vanilla, peanuts, almonds, hazelnuts, corn syrup, salt
ING: sugar, whole milk pwdr, cacáo butter, cocoa mass, soya lecithin, vanilla, peanuts, almonds, hazelnuts, corn syrup, salt