Impact
1/2 pregnant, under the shirt / over the bra, & way too much make-up caked on to cover over botched plastic surgery. S-B should be sued for malpractice.
Appearance 3.5 / 5
| Color: | pack of ants coated in dark brown shoe polish |
| Surface: | rumpled raisins |
| Temper: | glazed |
| Snap: | n/a |
Aroma 6.2 / 10
funk-de-funk: soiled earth, bugs, worms, fungus, fecal dooky... dried cocoa underneath it all
Mouthfeel 10.8 / 15
| Texture: | semi-soft; pre-chewed nibs break down to... |
| Melt: | chitinous crunch of creeping unclean things |
Flavor 35.3 / 50
sugar blast -> rubbing alcohol filling a ditch (dirt, twigs, bugs) -> cools into more typical S-B terrain - red fruit (cherry) -> vanilla counterattacks as nibs start breaking-thru, fighting to establish baseline chocolate -> sugar persists, aggravated by corn syrup & now w/ tapioca & lecithin in tow, combine to cap struggling tannins at the finish; chocolate hit the after math
Quality 13.6 / 20
Respectable just-past-the-center point roast but with additives verging on underhanded-gamesmanship (vanilla monster, heavy lecithin, corn syrup, tapioca dextrin + all that sugar - the king in America) it feels toasted within an eyelash of oblivion & tastes a little fake as S-B reaches deep downmarket.