Vanuatu 64%

by Cravve
Info Details
Country Australia   
Type Dark   (64%; Batch #a1077)
Strain Amazon   
Source Vanuatu   
Flavor Earthen   
Style Industrial      
This bar evokes one of those atomic atolls way out in the Pacific -- i.e., a tropical paradise under the mushroom cloud -- whose mutant foliage bear the fruits of nucleated technology (basically an island in a microwave).

CAUTION: handle with care & make sure the bomb-sniffing dog wears a hazmat suit.
Appearance   3.7 / 5
Color: opaque rouge
Surface: nicks; scratches; release mark
Temper: suet shimmer
Snap: fat chocospeak
Aroma   4.3 / 10
pig roast in a fire pit
Mouthfeel   9.2 / 15
Texture: granulated
Melt: slippery ropes
Flavor   29.8 / 50
sugar blast -> molasses -> raisin -> mild wax enkindles smoked cocoa -> gas fumes & petrochemical residues... & the bar just melts down into a flammable toxic dump site from there -> chalk thrown on the pile for a flame-retardent
Quality   10.3 / 20
Grisly. Opening holds some promise but the bar fails to hold it together.

Mechanically kiln-dried so that any subsequent roasting, however light, seems deep-fried, then stuffed into polypropelene sacks to enhance flammability.

Supposedly evokes "herbaceous flavor"; if so, only in the way that uncontrolled burning of the forest replenishes the soil.

64% cacáo-content calculated, according to the wrapper, as 50% cocoa mass + 14% cocoa butter. Barsmiths usually add around 5% extra cocoa butter, or none at all. 14% puts this in league with Choklat's butter-bars from Calgary. Where butter in those serve as a salve, this just just accentuates the scorched Earth policy by letting one feel the grim reapings as well as taste them.

Poor seed selection, abysmal post-harvest, & woeful processing. What more can one ask for? Other than that, it all goes south into an ever downward death spiral.

That wrapper also makes this inexplicable claim: "The lower cocoa content allows the underlying flavors of this bean to be revealed."

Burying it, therefore, should resurrect it.

INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar, cocoa butter, vanilla

Reviewed January 8, 2013


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