Trinidad Gran Couva

by Woodblock
Info Details
Country USA   
Type Brut   (70%; Batch #2)
Strain Trinitario   
Source Trinidad   (Montserrat; Gran Couva)
Flavor Sugar   (molasses)
Style Industrial      
The notion that people might have anything to learn from a jellyfish seems absurd. After all, a typical cnidarian (jellyfish) has, on the face of it, little in common with Homo sapiens. It has neither brains nor a heart. A single orifice thru which its food & waste pass means it eats out of its own anus.

But the Human Genome Project suggests otherwise (hey, people refer to other people as A-holes; 1 barsmith even hurled that epithet at the C-spot® once... imagine; Our response? -- "maybe, but certainly not full of sh*t" because spitting rather than swallowing was a much faster way of getting rid of their waste product. [They eventually confided, "yes, that was a challenging bean to process".]).

Humans possess approximately 21,000 protein-coding genes, about the same number as chickens, roundworms & fruit flies. And cnidarians too apparently.

“There’s a shocking amount of genetic similarity between jellyfish & human beings,” says Kevin J. Peterson, a molecular paleobiologist at Dartmouth University. From a genetic perspective “we look like a damn jellyfish.”

His fellow scientists take great interest in them because these hydrozoans may have made a devil’s bargain. In exchange for their simplicity — no head or tail, no vision, eating out of its own anus, etc. — they gain immortality. That's right, they can virtually live forever.

Read on to find out if this bar attains the same longevity or needs cloning to revive it from extinction.
Appearance   3.5 / 5
Color: polychromatic
Surface: Woodblock's usual... dimples, divots, release mark
Temper: vibrating table, please -- to shake out the bubbles
Snap: clucked up
Aroma   7.7 / 10
hog tied
grilled sausage with the skin smoked & parched into leather
Worcestershire® sauce on the side to scare up an unsweetened 100% or the whole bean
diffuses balsamic
Mouthfeel   12.9 / 15
Texture: creamy smooth
Melt: uneventful save for stringent grip at the finish
Flavor   32.6 / 50
explodes like a jellyfish into a hundred angry pieces of... blackstrap molasses, that's all folks...
tail mirrors the Aroma some, with a "husk-y" end point
Quality   12.3 / 20
Unlike its color, the Flavor very monochromatic, the definition of unidimensional.

Starts & goes nowhere in a circle chasing its own tail. Virtually unprecedented in the annals of chocolate.

Even Duffy's drastic molasses-soaked Chuno at least registers some offsets, however faint. This tastes of wholesale molasses in a jar poured into a bar. Achieved by suffocating the compounds, the soul particles removed, to extinction.

Trinidad in general & Gran Couva in particular contain far more potential as evidenced by Ritual's rendition of a similar seed lot obtained from Meridan Cacao brokers.

Gran Couva's near-legendary status as an origin -- puddles of sunshine in cacáo -- means this bar effectively makes molasses out of honey.

It'd amount to a gratuitous slap to call it a miscarriage in favor of abortion since it's only Woodblock's second batch working with it. A mere misstep... improvements in subsequent generations are bound to be likely.

INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar

Reviewed September 12, 2013


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