d'Oliva
by Vosges
Impact
Revolting enema of the state. Rancid oil slick causes reverse peristalsis. Even the most White Chocolate-loving fool (we hold one of the Top 10 posts) can’t keep this gack down. Degrading.
Appearance 4.2 / 5
| Color: | soft ecru w/ mahogany flecks |
| Surface: | interesting Oreo cookies ‘n ice cream facade of good size & thickness |
| Temper: | wax job |
| Snap: | no pulse... DOA |
Aroma 3.7 / 10
odd scent of mass production cookies, fake fruit (artificial cherry), & commerical lubricants (3-in-1 Oil)
Mouthfeel 6.8 / 15
| Texture: | no surprises – rich – but greasy |
| Melt: | fast dispersion into lumps |
Flavor 4.6 / 50
castor & cod liver oil w/ sugar -> chemical emulsification -> twinkie-like grease clog
Quality 3.2 / 20
Harkens back to that molecular gastronomy experiment with White Chocolate & caviar. High intensity (i.e., intensely bad) & seemingly pre-chewed requiring Dark Magick to keep this thing emulsified. Speechless... which in the C-spot™ vernacular is unheard of.
ING: White Choc (sugar, milk pwdr, milk fat, cocoa butter, soy lecithin, vanilla), dried Kalamata olives
ING: White Choc (sugar, milk pwdr, milk fat, cocoa butter, soy lecithin, vanilla), dried Kalamata olives