Java Lacté
by Alain Ducasse
Impact
That boob job found in Ducasse's Dark Java 75% flashes in public here & performs some French lacté, way out in the open, with udder disregard... causing cocoa nuts to molt their jeans... errrr, rather malt their genes.
Appearance 4.1 / 5
| Color: | swarthy |
| Surface: | a little bubbly, swirly & pin-holey |
| Temper: | calm & reserved |
| Snap: | vacant; porous edge wall |
Aroma 6.9 / 10
the awkward alliteratives keep coming
first bean-to-bar
next pod-to-palate
& now this: farm-to-freight... curdling buttermilk delivered by a diesel truck with enough puff out the main exhaust pipe to power a forklift (hey, farm-to-freight-to-forklift)
first bean-to-bar
next pod-to-palate
& now this: farm-to-freight... curdling buttermilk delivered by a diesel truck with enough puff out the main exhaust pipe to power a forklift (hey, farm-to-freight-to-forklift)
Mouthfeel 12.7 / 15
| Texture: | thick powder |
| Melt: | slow flow |
Flavor 40.9 / 50
erupts a Java malt-cano, spewing out light malted lava, with burlap beneath -> small toffee load -> brief butterscotch -> smolders away on smoked gouda -> shimmering / simmering lemon consort -> fried sour Milk Dud® to remind from whence these beans came
Quality 15.2 / 20
Although heavy-handed & ponderous in all respects -- Texture + Flavor combined -- Ducasse's Java Lacté adds up nonetheless to a pusillanimous "Dark-Milk".
45% deceives of heft but in reality all the oomph derives from the rich full-creamery milk powder.
Dairy & cocoa butter the fire retardants that douse Ducasse's Java 75% bar-b-q burner.
The label repurposes the damaged goods as a base foundation for a caked-on make-up kit (milk, sugar, tubs of cocoa butter, sunflower lecithin, vanilla, & fleur de sel).
In addition to covering up these bad beans, the formulation also mollifies the ruinous effect of sunflower lecithin. In fact, it practically transmutes it into a savor point.
Still, the propane-dried Java cacáo remains if nothing else undeniable in its ability to cut thru even a fire-wall. The kind of haz-mat that certain cocoanauts would deem a 'wonderful balance between milk & bean'.
INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar, milk, cocoa butter, sunflower lecithin, vanilla, fleur de sel
Reviewed June 26, 2013
45% deceives of heft but in reality all the oomph derives from the rich full-creamery milk powder.
Dairy & cocoa butter the fire retardants that douse Ducasse's Java 75% bar-b-q burner.
The label repurposes the damaged goods as a base foundation for a caked-on make-up kit (milk, sugar, tubs of cocoa butter, sunflower lecithin, vanilla, & fleur de sel).
In addition to covering up these bad beans, the formulation also mollifies the ruinous effect of sunflower lecithin. In fact, it practically transmutes it into a savor point.
Still, the propane-dried Java cacáo remains if nothing else undeniable in its ability to cut thru even a fire-wall. The kind of haz-mat that certain cocoanauts would deem a 'wonderful balance between milk & bean'.
INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar, milk, cocoa butter, sunflower lecithin, vanilla, fleur de sel
Reviewed June 26, 2013