Los Rios

by Holy Cacao
Info Details
Country Israel   
Type Dark   (75%; Batch A)
Strain EET   
Source Ecuador   (Balao {Camino Verde]; + Los Rios)
Flavor Naked   (with Crossover tangents)
Style Mainstream      
UPDATED REVIEW: 2 Ecuadors from Holy Cacao -- Balao featured in 2014 & Los Rios in 2016. The overall rating & metrics (upper right) forms the composite average of both.
Many are they who enjoy chocolate with sex (usually before; sometimes after; occasionally during).

Here 2 bars that come as closest as any to having sex with chocolate…. yes, that's right, a chocolate blowjob.

(May Jo Zander, a spiritualist who after all named his company Holy Cacao, forgive the transgressive thought.)
Appearance   4.4 / 5

Color: Balao: dark jet brown
Los Rios: Darth raven
Surface: Balao:: corner voids & craters in a diagonally-scored mold
Los Rios: pocked
Temper: tremendous albedo in effect
Snap: heavy & hard; sheer wall
Aroma   8 / 10
malted grains / graham crackers -> tobacco spice
feigns fruiting but hangs herbal (grass & cinnamon)

Los Rios
another thicket from Holy Cacao
cocoa paste & black tea syrup
musk & must
deciduous wood
barren blackberry bush
Mouthfeel   15 / 15
Texture: massive; big-bodied & buxom (maybe back up the lecithin some next time?)
Melt: the Holy Grail
Flavor   44.9 / 50
instant attack on fine chocolate intermingles with cocoa dust -> the breaded instance of the Aroma comes on for a walnut fudge brownie -> sweetens towards fully-ripened & full banana -> nice flint wood sparking up against spice (sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, & hops… absolutely terrific) -> black fig galvanizes a lone bitter -> the escape a grape-ghost

Los Rios
black tea hash => dry paulo santo => caustic blackberry brandy => borojó fruit => mallow & jute => strangler fig
Quality   17.4 / 20
Sensus Chocolatis.

Thickly lays it on all over. Huge magnitude. The bottom notes positively pounding louder than a bass amp turned up to 12. The sweet middles so direct & def. The upper register fleeting yet captivating. And no let up from the first bell -- just keeps coming & giving the business.

As if flavor weren't enough that buxom Texture, with an assist from major pneumatic lecithin, lifts it all.

While perhaps generally less ultra-finessed than, say, Rogue's Balao primogenitor, this delivers more pleasure compared to that introspective study -- the point loads so much more externalized here... to the point of pop art-popsicle -- largely though by no means exclusively on account of that Mouthfeel but, also, as if boosted by added cocoa cake (& should the Barithmetic (Cocoa mass / Butter / Sugar ratio) of ~8:7:5 be accurate, despite additional cocoa butter, then perhaps so).

So what if it's faked enhancement (lecithin). Uncontainable… never want it to end… nor could it if so desired because of inexorable expansion.

Memorable -- forever & ever.

Los Rios
A deep Dark. O, the fathoms that this goes. Dense claustro-flavic trap.

Holy Cacao really sublimates the drier aspects of the forest here, encapsulating them in a textural landscape which envelopes the chamber, roping off any escape routes. Surrendering proves rewarding however. Nothing festive to be sure. More a sober if not solemn Black Mass.

And terrific at that.

INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar, cocoa butter, lecithin

Balao: Reviewed June 23, 2014
Los Rios: Reviewed July 21, 2016


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