Impact
Hotel Chocolat is about providing an experience for their guests. They're strivers when it comes to packages, & seducers as far as online presentation goes (Jesus, any more & it'd be an adult-only site that even followers of the Prophet [PBUH] would visit between sessions on the prayer rug).
The milk of dairy cows mates here with the tannic force of cacáo. They hook up & book the room for an hour but easily extend their stay on voluptuous high-thread count silk sheets. Eventually they check out, but as with some other great hotels - The Overlook in The Shining or The Eagles' "Hotel California" - they never really leave.
The milk of dairy cows mates here with the tannic force of cacáo. They hook up & book the room for an hour but easily extend their stay on voluptuous high-thread count silk sheets. Eventually they check out, but as with some other great hotels - The Overlook in The Shining or The Eagles' "Hotel California" - they never really leave.
Appearance 4.7 / 5
a plaque the shape of a dog-bone that can be fetched & nailed above the lintel to the rustic entrance of Hotel Chocolat
a plaque the shape of a dog-bone that can be fetched & nailed above the lintel to the rustic entrance of Hotel Chocolat
| Color: | burnt umber orange |
| Surface: | clean brush plate |
| Temper: | preening bounce-back |
| Snap: | flaccid & sappy; craggy, jagged edge |
Aroma 8.1 / 10
smells like young sex: caramelized burnt-sugar off a creme brulée top -> darkly roasted cocoa just steams from underneath + prophylactic rubbers
Mouthfeel 12.6 / 15
| Texture: | packs love handles & Barbie boobs w/ a little tug & pull... yields to a 5-star porno-suite mattress |
| Melt: | molten crawl... 360 in every direction |
Flavor 43.4 / 50
opening move gets the hook right on w/ straight up MC (Milk Choc), all over it like the Spill Canvas' hit -> mocha chaser -> minor black olive brings the freight of savory salted element -> buttermilk bordering on English cheddar -> dark toffee booms all thru the mouth -> warm chocolate seals the deal w/ brief glimpse of violet Syrah promised but undelivered in its Dark 72% sib; grapevine ash the aftermath
Quality 17.3 / 20
Dark exposé on Milk & considerably deeper in impact than its 62% content, as well as a better display for St. Lucia cacáo than HC's Dark 72. Dairy does what's called for & earns respect: takes an unruly bunch of beans (assorted hybrids & admixtures from all over the island) & never quite quells them but unifies them into a blend, a function normally reserved for vanilla in most blended bars, smoothing the contour by eliminating the highs & low while preserving core chocolate to generate those big toffee tones & substantially mask - indeed transform - the flaws. The net result: a classic A-B-A pattern ganache of sorts - opening & closing on chocolate, & in-between the flavor infusion.
Responsible alchemy - transmuting a lump of coal into a dirty but at least not a blood diamond.
ING: cocoa mass, cocoa butter, full cream milk, & cane sugar.
Responsible alchemy - transmuting a lump of coal into a dirty but at least not a blood diamond.
ING: cocoa mass, cocoa butter, full cream milk, & cane sugar.