The Americas Blend

by Barsmiths™ Chocolate
Info Details
Country USA   
Type Dark   (75%)
Strain Blend   
Source (Peru; Nicaragua; Grenada)
Flavor Twang   
Style Industrial      
Surgeon General’s Advice: spitting this is much faster than shitting it.
Appearance   2.8 / 5

Color: blushing brown
Surface: ahhh, Barsmiths™ going for the roses; pock marks & pinholes
Temper: semi-kind
Snap: heartfelt but with micro-voids on the break-up
Aroma   4.5 / 10
Tide® laundry detergent + equally trademarked dog vomit
hygienic & putrid… concomitantly
Mouthfeel   8.3 / 15
Texture: dry...
Melt: … crumble cake
Flavor   19.1 / 50
raisin-scented soap bubbles -> rose petals -> deteriorates precipitously into a Tide® of fake perfumes -> exit spit
Quality   6.6 / 20
Inedible. The only good thing about this bar is the title.

A shame really because this contains a mix of cacáos that intrigue.

Where the Masts launched their flagship Brooklyn Blend & christened it to ride the wave of that face-fro magnet across from Manhattan, Barsmiths™, thinking big, covers the entire Western Hemisphere in naming theirs The Americas Blend. A bar containing cocoas from the Amazon (Peru), Mesoamerica (Nicaragua) & the Caribbean (Grenada).

But upon further inquiry, Barsmiths™ claims that its pet, Toby, in a variation of 'the dog ate my homework', took ill in the storage room & lost his load which required some heavy cleaning solvents to mop up.

In the scheme of catastrophes, this ranks pretty low but serves as an object lesson in how not to store cacáo nuts. Their lipids in particular readily absorb odors. Even if Toby never sickened the batch, this pile would've tasted of canine perfume.

Either way, an odor eater now consuming whoever ingests it.

INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar

Reviewed October 8, 2014


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