The Nib Bar

by Ritual
Info Details
Country USA   
Type Semi-Dark   (75%; Batch 007)
Strain Blend   
Source Belize   (+ Madagascar)
Flavor Twang   
Style New School      
The U.S. Navy’s new LaWS (Laser Weapon System) death rays are not only real, but cheap.

"At less than a $1 per shot, there's no question about the value LaWS provides," says Rear Admiral Matthew L. Klunder. "This will more effectively… ensure our sailors & Marines are never in a fair fight."

Talk about more bang for the buck.

Lasers also take fewer crew members to operate. It can be fired by one sailor using a video game controller. To the soundtrack of Ancient Lasers, of course.

The Nibs in this bar act as a guidance system for bright waves of fruit arrays to hit their intended targets: T-buds everywhere (T for taste). Yeah its smell like bad sex but tastes like ‘let’s do that again’.

Appearance   3.9 / 5
Color: sienna
Surface: perforated Nibs to practically pierce the heavy duty aluminnum wrapper
Temper: buffed vinyl
Snap: a silencer stealth-bullet
Aroma   7.2 / 10
after nearly 2,300 reviews & 3,000+ premium bars, a combo rarely perceived in chocolate together: sour sausage
Mouthfeel   13 / 15
Texture: glorious tatterdemalions
Melt: hydrofoils by the halfway station
Flavor   44.8 / 50
brown sugar over a splay of red berries -> stays with it as Nibs crunch down & bolster the structure with grit & Earthen elements, nuts among them -> blasts away on citrus, then limes out
Quality   17.4 / 20
Fun easy 'n breezy assemblage. Quite sweet for the percentage; doubly so considering the unsweetened Nib faction.

Most bars of this type get weighed down eventually by the Nibs. This almost defies flavor gravity & practically acquires loft the deeper in it goes. Much of that owes to utilizing light-breaking Madagascan cacáo for Nibs married to a Belize-sourced chocolate base. Together & apart they complement each other quite well, as such the case here.

The only missing note: core cocoa which equates into low-CQ (Chocolate Quotient or basal chocolate flavor). In other words: juicy but airy… thin. A blueprint incorporating more foundation plus a brake on the surprisingly fast Melt would power this into a full-on sensation.

Otherwise, a sound formulation & solid execution.

Reviewed March 9, 2015


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