Eastern Promises

by Soma
Info Details
Country Canada   
Type Dark   (70%; Batch EP3)
Strain Blend   
Source Papua New Guinea   (+ Java; Madagascar)
Flavor Crossover   (Earthen x Fruits/Flowers)
Style Industrial      (smoke)
Might want to wear a gas mask. In fact, one should come with this bar as an accessory. Soma could charge more for it & customers would consider it a full-sensory VR experience.

Plus, on the ever brighter side, if a mushroom cloud drifted in with the whiff of chocolate, people would be less scared.
Appearance   4.4 / 5
Color: cream blush
Surface: minor voids at the corners of the raised tiles
Temper: sparkles
Snap: pugnacious
Aroma   7.1 / 10
bar-b-q hickory chips under smoked bacon
outgassing of some considerable petroleum by products
still, some of the most inviting hammy cocoa around
Mouthfeel   12.8 / 15
Texture: starts out all knuckles...
Melt: … goes down smooth & easy
Flavor   39.2 / 50
pops right up chocolate -> mite lite spice (cardamom) -> coffee grounds -> malted mushroom ignites white citrus (lychee) -> petrochem trails -> pineapple breaks thru the enveloping smoke rising from tar flats in a gas field -> rubber tire rollover, plugged somewhat by cocoa butter -> faint graham cracker, left over residual from the malt section
Quality   14.6 / 20
Some things sound great but in actuality fail to harmonize together.

A blend with all the trappings for a rooftop beehive party in a kind of freaky progression where the seams show thru drastically. Not since Amano's fire-trap named Morobe has such thick smoke inhalation / indigestion blocked the passageways.

The tang from Madagascar; breaded-chocolate compliments of Java; & that raging oil spill somewhere over PNG. Then again PNG & Java can be rather interchangeable so perhaps they swapped out for another here.

Either way, they almost integrate by the end to harmonize miraculously. Alas, the citrus & the gaseous clash continues to commingle in their aftermath. Practically tastes like a victim of the Great Chocolate Vault fire, which would be unfair to rate at all. Not the case though: it was never stored there but set aside on delivery for immediate sampling.

Perhaps Soma tried to pull a Solstice-type Wasatch to salvage some fraught cocoa by shading it in a blend. In spinning this mix it turns into a spider caught in its own web.

INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar, cocoa butter

Reviewed February 10, 2014


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